Signs of the Coming Apocalypse

What, We Have No Bananas?!

Global trade talks bog down over issue of tariffs on bananas.

Why It's A Sign

Well-prepared by decades of sign-language training and study of female primatologists ‘in the mist,’ the apes rise up to finally take control of this threatened resource (oh, and while they’re at it, us).

What To Expect

A regime ruling us with benevolence, other than the mass executions for convicted “Potassiocides” – physical comedians charged with ‘Tailpipe Insertion’ and ‘Peel-Based Obstruction”; everyone in the Smoothie industry.

Why That's Great News

Physical comedians revitalized by bold new science of Fecal Projection. Post-smoothie world frees up thousands of acres of profitable ‘booth space.’

Read More Signs of the Coming Apocalypse

About the Book

Let’s face it: Our world’s gotta go sometime.

Whether it’s due to mushroom clouds, asteroids, a mad supergenius, Jesus, newly sentient iPods, or Pod People, everything about life on Earth is going to change.

And you should be psyched.

APOCALYPSE HOW is a comprehensive cataclysmic guide that walks you through the Nine Most Likely World-Ending Scenarios, and provides useful and inspiring advice on every aspect of surviving (and thriving!) in the new world to come. Covering everything from food, shelter, and relocation to social life, dating, recreation and career, APOCALYPSE HOW is the only book you’ll need – and just might be the last one left at all.

Click below to take the Apocalyptic Presidential Challenge!