Signs of the Coming Apocalypse

Date My Messiah

2,000-year-old date tree seed found and planted in Israel is thriving and expected to yield fruit by 2010.

Why It's A Sign

According to leading gastro-theologians, Jesus can only begin his 1,000-year battle with Antichrist after a good breakfast (the most important meal of history).

What To Expect

Over the next few years, the dates will be joined by the Oats of Antioch, the Almonds of Jordan, and Corn Syrup in the Highest (Fructose) for a convergence that shall one be known as “The Great Muesli-ing.”

Why That's Great News

Everyone will be so regular, the Four Horses of the Apocalypse will constantly be stopping to go.

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About the Book

Let’s face it: Our world’s gotta go sometime.

Whether it’s due to mushroom clouds, asteroids, a mad supergenius, Jesus, newly sentient iPods, or Pod People, everything about life on Earth is going to change.

And you should be psyched.

APOCALYPSE HOW is a comprehensive cataclysmic guide that walks you through the Nine Most Likely World-Ending Scenarios, and provides useful and inspiring advice on every aspect of surviving (and thriving!) in the new world to come. Covering everything from food, shelter, and relocation to social life, dating, recreation and career, APOCALYPSE HOW is the only book you’ll need – and just might be the last one left at all.

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