Signs of the Coming Apocalypse

Teenage Wasteland

According to a new study, US teens are having less sex, doing fewer drugs and smoking fewer cigarettes than those who grew up in the 1990s.

Why It's A Sign

Move over, polar bears and ice caps. Global warming is out of control and has a new victim: teen coolness.

What To Expect

With no topics left for Hollywood movies to be made about and no need for them to sneak around, teens spend nearly all free time at home, generating unsustainable demand on the nation's bathrooms. Ensuing drought further hastens global desertification.

Why That's Great News

As has been documented, the desert provides not only anonymity, but also a near-total absence of pain-inflicters.

Read More Signs of the Coming Apocalypse

About the Book

Let’s face it: Our world’s gotta go sometime.

Whether it’s due to mushroom clouds, asteroids, a mad supergenius, Jesus, newly sentient iPods, or Pod People, everything about life on Earth is going to change.

And you should be psyched.

APOCALYPSE HOW is a comprehensive cataclysmic guide that walks you through the Nine Most Likely World-Ending Scenarios, and provides useful and inspiring advice on every aspect of surviving (and thriving!) in the new world to come. Covering everything from food, shelter, and relocation to social life, dating, recreation and career, APOCALYPSE HOW is the only book you’ll need – and just might be the last one left at all.

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