What, We Have No Bananas?!

Global trade talks bog down over issue of tariffs on bananas.

Why It's A Sign

Well-prepared by decades of sign-language training and study of female primatologists ‘in the mist,’ the apes rise up to finally take control of this threatened resource (oh, and while they’re at it, us).

What To Expect

A regime ruling us with benevolence, other than the mass executions for convicted “Potassiocides” – physical comedians charged with ‘Tailpipe Insertion’ and ‘Peel-Based Obstruction”; everyone in the Smoothie industry.

Why That's Great News

Physical comedians revitalized by bold new science of Fecal Projection. Post-smoothie world frees up thousands of acres of profitable ‘booth space.’

Read More Signs of the Coming Apocalypse