Missile Canard

Iran found to have doctored photos of its missile tests.

Why It's A Sign

Even more frightening than the Islamic Republic possessing the bomb – they have reached “full operational Photoshop.”

What To Expect

Across the Internet, every even-slightly-alluring inch of female flesh will be covered in burkas (except, of course, for the stars of “XXXChicksinburkas.com, who will be clad, curiously, in “Philly Fanatic” costumes). Lack of male ‘masturbatunities’ will trigger explosive, eventually thermonuclear flare-ups.

Why That's Great News

No more getting ripped off by those evil Websites that promise a ‘free trial’ then ask for your credit card and sneakily ‘renew’ you long after you’ve already seen the blurry Jessica Alba pics and have forgotten you even signed up in the first--- I mean, um, porn is degrading to women. Good riddance!

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