Mars Unpacks!

Eight new “Natural Wonders of the World” announced by UNESCO.

Why It's A Sign

Holy Monarch Butterfly Biosphere Reserve, why don’t we just send an e-vite to would-be alien “tourists” to invade now!

What To Expect

Hordes of little green/purple/orange/“Alpine Mustard” men ambling around the Saryarka steppes and lakes of Kazakhstan, reciting their linguistic equivalents of “Make sexy time!” and “verr’ NICE.”

Why That's Great News

Enforced slavery by aliens will be an improvement over current conditions in some parts of the world, and a boon for the childhood obesity epidemic in the U.S.

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