Sum of all Beers

Anheuser-Busch rejects hostile takeover bid by Belgian brewer InBev.

Why It's A Sign

Busch will continue to make millions of cans of Budweiser, or to use the technical term, "canned water" -- leading to global desertification.

What To Expect

The King of Beers' monarchy will cover the earth, as ensuing drought conditions will force people to drink reconstituted urine, or to use the technical term, "Bud Light."

Why That's Great News

Author about to be sent multiple complimentary cases of Miller.

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