You Can Hear Them Now

Google reports it’s on schedule to roll out its brand-new “Android” phone.

Why It's A Sign

Until now, the only thing holding back the androids from a takeover was their cumbersome dependence on pay phones and answering machines.

What To Expect

An unstoppable army of sentient humanoids completely surrounding us with loud, assholish private conversations.

Why That's Great News

Imagine always being able to get four bars -- whenever you're allowed out from behind yours, that is.

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