Footloose

Fifth unexplained foot washes up on shores of Vancouver.

Why It's A Sign

Dr. Lapin's army of genetically engineered Monster Rabbits are here – and chopping off our feet for luck.

What To Expect

Earth shaken out of orbit by constant copulation. Cities buried under boulder-sized pellets. Mr. MacGregor's garden decimated.

Why That's Great News

Easter hastily returned to being "just about Jesus."

Read More Signs of the Coming Apocalypse