Motley Screw

Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee back together!

Why It's A Sign

Anderson – post-Kid Rock and celebutante-consort Rick Salomon – and Lee – post countless “enthusiasts” – together bring forth an STD so powerful, it spreads across the whole species.

What To Expect

As the human race’s genitals fall off and the population declines, millions of similarly equipped Barbie and Ken dolls are burned – the fumes from which kill off even more.

Why That's Great News

With reproduction impossible, the survivors emulate the celibate Shakers – yielding a bounty of beautifully minimalist furniture.

Read More Signs of the Coming Apocalypse