Strapped by jet fuel costs, American Airlines announces it will now charge passengers $15 to check a bag.
Turns out an airline *actually made a smart decision.* That slight disincentive on passenger weight lightens AA’s consumption, reducing global oil demand and sending prices plummeting.
Their livelihood threatened, oil multinationals and terrorist-sponsoring regimes merge their petro-evil into new, unstoppable conglomerates Exxon-Mobal-Qaeda and Chevzbollah.
Lefty campus groups, confused as to who to protest, turn on each other and go down in a cloud of gorp dust.