World War Wii

Nintendo unveils the first-ever “home fitness video game,” the Wii Fit.

Why It's A Sign

Newly pumped-up video gamers will be able to stand up to their schoolyard tormentors, stopping the estimated $9 billion annual loss in milk money.

What To Expect

Increased purchase of milk will put unsustainable demands on the world’s cows, arousing the ire of nuclear-armed India…

Why That's Great News

With India’s attention elsewhere, Pakistan will be able to liberate Kashmir, finally creating the long-awaited homeland for one of the world’s most oppressed and misunderstood people: “Zepheads.”

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