Ex-Congressman Bob Barr announces bid to run for president as a Libertarian, pledging to immediately freeze all discretionary spending.

With the future of wasteful Alaskan infrastructure projects threatened, Santa Claus and Superman are forced to band together out of loneliness.

Using X-ray vision to pinpoint “nice” kids and heat vision to incinerate “naughty” ones, SuperManta LLC upsets the global childhood moral balance.

Glut of good kids will force all Supernannies back to Britain for a permanent “time out.”