Speed Racism

“Speed Racer” crashes and burns at the box office.

Why It's A Sign

A huge setback to both anime and the Wachowski Brothers – some of our most prominent forecasters of the apocalypse. Maybe they were just getting TOO CLOSE TO THE TRUTH.

What To Expect

An uprising of chimpanzees calling themselves “The Army of Chim-Chim” take revenge for the treatment of Speed’s simian sidekick -- by forcing billions of humans into the trunks of *their* cars for a change.

Why That's Great News

Finally, a lucky break for mafia stool pigeons, the people best trained to survive prolonged trunktime.

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