As a stalling tactic, a majority of Republican Congressmen vote against a Mother’s Day resolution celebrating motherhood.

Why It's A Sign

Swiftly losing support among anti-abortionists and anti-gay-marriageists, the party’s only remaining move is to give guns and tax cuts to deadbeat dads nationwide.

What To Expect

Population explosion of orphans, sapping world gruel supply and creating unsustainable levels of pathos.

Why That's Great News

Newspaper-selling street urchins on every corner crowing at passersby to 'Read all about it' leads to unavoidably well-informed populace.

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